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Tag Archives: poop
So Rick Santorum is running for President. Thank God I’ve already printed the bumper sticker!
During my long, fulfilling history of attempting to barge in on people in public bathrooms while they’re doing their business (taxes, cocaine, pooping — whatever), I’ve come to an inescapable conclusion: you can tell a lot about a person by … Continue reading
For too long, the weakest among us have had to make a wrenching, last-minute decision when entering a bathroom in the throes of acute upper and lower intestinal distress: namely, whether To Squat or Not. Before today, this Sophie’s Choice … Continue reading
Since the dawn of time, human beings have asked themselves one question above all others. No, not “Why am I here?” or “Are we alone in this universe?” Not even, “Is that really Donald Trump’s hair?” The question to which … Continue reading
Delightful little blurb in Newsweek this week: Deep down, Americans have always known that wiping their rears with dry paper is ineffective; a classic survey showed that half of TP users spend their days with “fecal contamination”—anything from “wasp-colored” stains … Continue reading