Author Archives: hawaiianpun

MSN Is Overly Optimistic About How Carefully Its Audience Reads

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The Sperminator and the Poor-man Hater

In case you haven’t heard, Arnold Schwarzenegger has just copped to a love-child that he fathered with a member of the help, while Donald “The Donald” Trump is not running for president. In honor of this non news, here is … Continue reading

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See you on Broadway

I’ve got a great new idea for a Broadway production entitled Intermission. The idea is, the audience shows up, stares at empty stage for an hour, then watches 10 minutes of performances before enjoying another hour of curtain gazing. Or … Continue reading

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I Heart You Mom

In honor of Mother’s Day: Ten points for anyone who can guess what the hell body part this is tattooed on. (I don’t know the answer, by the way. And I don’t think I want to…)

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American Expressed

Got a piece of mail from American Express yesterday. As usual, I ripped it open without paying too much attention to the envelope itself. However, as I was about to recycle it, I noticed the following message: Just in case … Continue reading

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Obama mama drama. I mean, daddy drama.

So Pres. Obama finally released his long-form birth certificate (PDF) today. Now, first of all, did you know that he’s actually Barack Hussein Obama the second??? Because I don’t think I realized that, and that makes me wonder: If Pres. Obama’s father — the … Continue reading

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Less Successful Hip-Hop and R&B Acts

Boyz II Men’s Rooms Kool & the Gangrene Salt-N-Vinega Earth, Wind, & Fred Keith Sweatpants Naughty by Nurture Mary J. Bilge Diana Kübler-Ross Hi-C and Ho Hos Run DeLorean Motor Company Poindexter Sisters Sister Sludge The Commodore 64s

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