The Sperminator and the Poor-man Hater

In case you haven’t heard, Arnold Schwarzenegger has just copped to a love-child that he fathered with a member of the help, while Donald “The Donald” Trump is not running for president.

In honor of this non news, here is a list of imaginary movies that I imagine these two larger-than-life-lugs would have starred in together if given the opportunity:

  • Conan the Bizarre-hairian
  • Total Rejects
  • Vast Distraction Hero (alt: Caste Action Zero)
  • True Lies
  • Single All the Way
  • Slutman and Robbin’
  • The Sexth Day
  • Around the Girl in Shady Ways
  • The Expendables

(Also, if Google images is to be believed, they’ve never even been photographed together. WTF Google images. Instead, please enjoy these videos of Conan O’Brien doing impressions of both of them.)

(Sort of cross-posted at Brutish&Short.)

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3 Responses to The Sperminator and the Poor-man Hater

  1. blogbytom says:

    To truly keep with listicle tradition, you need to save the real title for last — in this case, True Lies.

    (Though, The Expendables might be a real movie, I guess????”)

    • hawaiianpun says:

      The Expendables is, indeed, a real movie. And you’re right, I broke a cardinal comedic rule having two real movies in the list, but they were just so appropriate. (Plus, I was going in chronological order.)

  2. Mrs. Pickle says:

    Yeah when I heard the news about Arnold it pretty much made my day. He was such a waste of sperm and the best part of him ran down his moms leg.

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