CVS.O.S.

More evidence from CVS’s “As Seen on  TV” aisle that Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign is too little too late:

And yes, I know my camera phone sucks, so let’s zoom in on the top item first, shall we?

An inch to any pants waist and an hour to any therapy session.

That’s right: it’s the Perfect Fit Button — an insta-button kit that lets you “add an inch to any pants waist in seconds!” (Note the exclamation point — because if you need to add an inch to any pants waist in seconds, you no doubt have a very exclamatory-worthy reason for rushing. You know, like wanting to continue breathing.)

And what treasures await you, my Frito-faced friends, when you let your eyes fall away from the Botero button bacchanalia? Why, it’s none other than easyfeetTM, of course!

Wouldn't it have been easier to call it "EZfeet"?

No more bending to clean your feet? Sign me up!

The best part of all this commercial convenience is the synergy between these two (double)chin-ovations. After all, the more often you use your easyfeet, the less easily you’ll be able to see your feet — then bring on the instant inch-adding buttons! (Which will presumably be made of candy some day, if this keeps up.)

 

Your fructose future!

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