Down and Scout

Is there anything sadder than an unloved girl scout cookie?

–An unloved baby panda? HA! Don’t make me chortle. (Seriously, I’m drinking a glass of milk right now and my sinuses are already inflamed as it is.)

Anyhoo, MSN Money has a heart(attack) breaking story this week concerning the Girl Scouts and their experiment to reduce their number of unique cookie offerings in order to cut costs during these tough times. On the chopping block: Dulce de Leche, Thank U Berry Munch, and All Abouts shortbread cookies.

Now, I think I speak for everyone when I say, There are other girl scout cookie options besides Thin Mints? WHY? But with the delightful disks living to fight (their way to my thighs) another day, my interest in this story naturally began to peter out — at least until I read the following line about halfway through:

Girl Scout cookies are still not sold on the Web — leaders believe the girls learn more when they sell in person — but Girl Scouts 13 and older can now market their cookies online.

Hear that perverts of the world? If Girl Scout leaders continue to get their way, you’ll never have to worry about running out of fresh batches of young girls in uniform coming right to your door, begging you to pay them for a taste of their cookie. I don’t know what kind of badge they earn for this enterprise, but perhaps a belt system would be more appropriate. You know — like a chastity belt.

Anything to keep my Thin Mints safe.

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