Fight for Your Right to Shite

For too long, the weakest among us have had to make a wrenching, last-minute decision when entering a bathroom in the throes of acute upper and lower intestinal distress: namely, whether To Squat or Not. Before today, this Sophie’s Choice of toiletry has required us to question all previously adopted rules of scatological etiquette (or “scatiquette,” as it’s referred to in the bowel biz) when deciding whether ’tis eructations oral or anal that merit our foremost attentions. When the answer isn’t clear, vomit inevitably gets the short end of the mop, as even the stoutest stomached among us tend to prefer the partially digested to the “wholly divested” when it comes time to clean up. But what if you didn’t have to choose? What if some visionary genius (ahem) had taken it upon himself to design a bathroom for hard-partying Peters and viral-prone Pamelas alike?

Well, double clench no longer, my friends. Introducing the most important water closet contrivance since the Pooper Pamper 5000©®™: The Poop-n-Puke 9,000,000 by Double Trouble!

Slogan: "Top or bottom—we haven't forgot 'em!"

Now, granted, this is just a prototype, but I think you can see where I’m going with this. Pretty soon, colleges and hospitals across the country will be outfitted with enough Poop-n-Pukes to make you wanna puke. Or poop. Either way, we’ve got you covered!

Also available in Projectile!

Slogan: "There's no need to bleach it if you can reach it!"

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This entry was posted in Short Form Flobbityjoop and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Fight for Your Right to Shite

  1. dsizzle says:

    My fraternity could really use one of these.

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