For the most part, this article on corrupt and underfunded pension plans by MSNBC’s the Red Tape Chronicles is what you would expect about an article on corrupt and underfunded pension plans. Which is to say, boring as hell. However, the second and third paragraphs are nothing less than preposterous. To wit:
As reported by the Trentonian newspaper, Professor Michael Glass of Mercer County Community College was discussing pension “double dipping” with students in February and brought up “retired” Mercer County Sherriff Kevin Larkin’s dual-income status as an example. Larkin filed the paperwork to officially retire in 2009 and began collecting his $85,000 pension. But he never stopped working, instead using a well-known loophole to keep earning his full-time salary of $129,000 on top of his pension.
A student who knew Larkin texted the sheriff, who drove to the campus, knocked on the classroom door and asked to speak with Glass in the hallway. A few minutes later, with Larkin at his side, Glass returned to the class and apologized.
I’m not much for profanity around these parts, but holy fish sticks. Can you imagine what life would be like if, every time you talked smack about someone, they showed up to confront you about it 20 minutes later? (Come to think of it, if this worked with everyone — up to and including Megan Fox — that’d be pretty damn awesome. Otherwise, it would pretty much ruin every social interaction ever.) Is this guy really such a d-bag (“d” = “double dipping,” of course) that he has to engage in a blatant pissing contest with a local community college professor for sullying his already tarnished name? Larkin is the freakin’ sheriff. New Jersey’s tax dollars pay his salary — and now his pension — and he’s using that time to strong arm overworked, underpaid state employees who have the audacity to actually call him out on his bullpucky. I guess Larkin assumes that “serve and protect” refers to his own self-interest and reputation.
Hey, Officer Krupke: Krup you.1
 Ten points to anyone who can tell me where that line is from without looking it up on the intertubes.