An Engaging Story

You spin me right round baby, right round -- oops, I just poopied.

Forget divorcing someone via text message. Imagine if the only way you could have phone sex with your fiancée was with one of those old school toy phones on wheels. Well, that’s exactly the problem facing Syria’s hottest new lovebirds, Khalid and Hala.

Before I reveal why that joke is hilarious, let’s get some back story. According to MSNBC,

The boy, who was identified only as Khalid, “fell in love” with Hala during a family trip to a seaside town, his father [Juma] said. […] “Khalid told me and his mother that he would like to have stayed with Hala or bring her home to Homs. The young bride seems very genuine,” Juma said.  “We did not know what to do until my wife called Hala’s mother and asked her opinion about the case.”

Just another middle eastern spin on Romeo & Juliet, right? Right — except that, at 16 and 13 years of age, Shakespeare’s archetypally troubled teens are an entire decade older than Khalid, five, and Hala, three.

Fortunately, there’s a logical explanation to be found:

“My wife and I got Khalid after 20 years of marriage, in a complicated pregnancy,” the boy’s dad Juma told the newspaper. “I vowed to have my child engaged at the age of five if he was a boy and to marry him to a woman of his choice at the age of 15.”

If only this option had been available when I was five years old. Then I could have realized my dream of attending high school as Mr. My Buddy. No, wait, I mean Kid Sister!

Dammit.

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