Pet Ceme-terrifying

Just in time for Halloween comes this story from the Associated Press in which a man’s euthanized dog comes back to life just as he is preparing to bury it.

Seriously.

To quote:

Olivarez said he returned to his garage Sunday morning and noticed Mia missing from where he’d placed her on a pile of hay the day before. He’d planned to bury her in his grandfather’s backyard.

Instead, he turned to find her standing on all fours, staring at him.

Ho. Lee. Ghost. If the vet put my dog to sleep and I brought her back home to bury her, only to find her standing up and staring at me after I returned to place her body in the grave I had just dug, I would literally pee myself until I died of dehydration. Then, presumably, my revivified best friend would kick me into the hole formerly reserved for her in retaliation for my disloyalty.

What’s worse, not only did Olivarez have to deal with his own emotional demons after watching his dog return from the dead, he had to explain what had happened to his children.

Olivarez purchased Mia, the only member of her litter to survive, around the time his first child was born. She was intended to be a companion for his sons, now 8 and 9. Olivarez tried to explain Mia’s resurrection to them Tuesday night.

Kids have a hard enough time understanding the permanency of death as it is. You start throwing instant zombification into the mix and they’re gonna go through life with some pretty effed up notions about the world. How the hell do you even start that conversation?

Dad: Hey Billy, Bobby. How was school today? Wow, you made a macaroni portrait of Mia to put on her grave tonight? That’s really thoughtful. I bet she would have liked that. In fact, I know she would have, because here she is now, trying to eat it!

Sons: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Though a dog lover myself, you know this never would have happened with a cat — mostly because, having easily deduced your murderous intentions once you began acting completely out of character by cuddling with it at every opportunity and telling it what a good pet it had been, it would have lain in wait to slit your throat before you could consummate your betrayal.

Still though, that dude’s gonna have some serious nightmares this month. Makes you wonder if Stephen King has already started work on a sequel?

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