Kid Rap

If you haven’t heard of up-and-coming Memphis rapper, P-Nut, maybe it’s time you did. Already taking the southern hip-hop world by storm, P to the Nut’s cache rose even further after a recent appearance on his local Fox affiliate. If you doubt his prowess, check out one of his dope rhymes, below:

Superman’s no hero/They never found Nemo/Can’t play with Tonka trucks ’cause all the Tonka trucks got repo’d.

Oh, did I mention that P-Nut is only seven?

You can watch his adorably crunk interview above, but if you want the crib notes, I’ve excerpted four of his choicer quotes:

  • I’m gettin’ ready to spit somethin’ for y’all. Y’all ready?
  • It feels good because I’m lettin’ all the steam that I have come out. [Editor’s note: elementary schoolers have steam?]
  • It’s just me goin’ out there. Doin’ what I got to do over and over again to make the fans see what I can do.
  • I tell ’em, stay in school, pay attention to your teacher, your mother. And if you’re tryin’ to do the same thing, and if you can’t do it, just do what I told you to do and then you’ll make it there.

Now pretend for a minute that you have no idea how old this kid is and ask yourself the following question: If I saw these quotes out of context, would I assume they were spoken by an aspiring seven-year-old rapper, or an established hip-hop superstar? And more importantly, does the fact that it’s impossible to tell one way or another say more about P-Nut the wunderkind or established hip-hop superstars? I guess there’s a reason why rappers are always spelling things in their songs — they’re just trying to self-educate.

  • La-da-da-da-dahh/It’s the motherfuckin D-O-double-G (SNOOP DOGG!)/La-da-da-da-dahh/You know I’m mobbin with the D-R-E
  • I’m on the parkway see me at the Knick game/Probably seen this tatted on your chick frame/F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S
  • I don’t know what you heard about me/But a bitch can’t get a dollar outta me/No Cadillac, no perms, you can’t see/That I’m a motherfuckin’ P-I-M-P
  • T to the A to the S-T-E-Y* girl you tasty, T to the A to the S-T-E-Y girl you tasty/D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fergie

* And this is why they should keep practicing. There’s no “e” in “tasty,” professor Will.I.Am — and for that matter, didn’t anyone ever teach you that the direct object should always follow the subject and verb in a sentence? Why not try calling yourself “I.Am.Will” to set a good example for the rest of the rap community? You’re not Yoda, my friend. Hell, you’re not even my friend!

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One Response to Kid Rap

  1. dsizzle says:

    I’m most concerned by the fact that Will.I.Am trusts Fergie to finish the spelling of DELICIOUS. That’s like benching Brian Scalabrine for Sheldon Williams. She’s already a poor enough singer — there’s no need to confuse her with unimportant things like spelling.

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