According to reliable news sources*, there is a movement afoot amongst Twitter-averse Luddites to create a new means of communicating in an abbreviated and occasionally incomprehensible manner. Though full details have yet to emerge, industry insiders say that the model will be called “Puffer,” and rather than focusing on the latest technological advances, it will be based on one of the oldest tools known to man: fire.
Specifically, the Twitter rejecters — referred to amongst themselves as “Flamers” — will use smoke signals to send “puffs” of 140 billion particles or less to inform one another about irrelevant minutiae from their everyday life, whether pertaining to their latest buffalo kill or the newest addition to the family tipi.
No word yet on how this will affect Kindle sales, but Angelfire, at least, has expressed interest in advertising. Unfortunately, hip hop mogul Sean Combs has also brought a lawsuit against the startup alleging infringement upon his pre-2001 alter ego, Puff Daddy. Scheduled to preside over the trial: The Honorable Judge H.R. Pufnstuf of the Superior Court of Living Island. More on this story as it develops.
*Link not available.