Once upon a time, I decided to be über-disgustingly romantic and send my fiancee the “Red Rose Trio” from FloraFlora.com just for the helluva it.
Receiving her excited texts from work confirming receipt of said thoughtfulness, I congratulated myself and then moved on to planning the next unexpected way I would rock her world. Having forgotten about the flowers, imagine my surprise when — just a few days later — she is finally able to bring them home and I discover that the “Red Rose Trio” I thought I had purchased had somehow turned into a White Rose Duo.
The phrase WTF? comes to mind. My only theory so far is that, at some point on their journey to my fiancee’s place of work, these poor flowers were waylaid in a dark alley by a starving vegan who managed to consume one of them before the other two were able to escape — though not before turning white with fear.
Annoyingly, all complaints to FloraFlora have so far gone unanswered. Not unanswered, however? My prayers for love…
And toilet paper. (We were almost out.)