Gay Day 1: Defy God’s wishes and choose to be gay.
Gay Day 2: Practice lisp. Not too gay now.
Gay Day 4: Activate gaydar. Hone skills during church.
Gay Day 9: Quietly come out to close friends and family. Pay close attention to gaydar readouts around Uncle Jerry.
Gay Day 20: Finish Tuesdays with Morrie.
Gay Day 31: Invite heterosexual best friend over “just to hang.” Attempt to stick tongue down throat. Act indignant when signals are completely misinterpreted
Gay Day 43: Continue choosing to be gay.
Gay Day 47: Adopt innocent babies and bring them up to similarly pervert the natural order of things.
Gay Day 60: Foment gay unrest.
Gay Day 100: Lead fabulously dressed gay army into battle against the STR8s and win.
Gay Day 101: Declare gay victory. Shimmy.