Excerpts from THE GAY AGENDA (that I found on a bench in the park)

Gay Day 1: Defy God’s wishes and choose to be gay.

Gay Day 2: Practice lisp. Not too gay now.

Gay Day 4: Activate gaydar. Hone skills during church.

Gay Day 9: Quietly come out to close friends and family. Pay close attention to gaydar readouts around Uncle Jerry.

Gay Day 20: Finish Tuesdays with Morrie.

Gay Day 31: Invite heterosexual best friend over “just to hang.” Attempt to stick tongue down throat. Act indignant when signals are completely misinterpreted

Gay Day 43: Continue choosing to be gay.

Gay Day 47: Adopt innocent babies and bring them up to similarly pervert the natural order of things.

Gay Day 60: Foment gay unrest.

Gay Day 100: Lead fabulously dressed gay army into battle against the STR8s and win.

Gay Day 101: Declare gay victory. Shimmy.

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6 Responses to Excerpts from THE GAY AGENDA (that I found on a bench in the park)

  1. Steven says:

    This is why I never sit down at random park benches. You never know what kind of literary work your going to come across. Those seem to be the commandments Moses’ gay follower came down with from the mountain right after Moses, just insert “though shalt” before each statement.


  2. sharonheg says:

    You forgot about trying to win a washer dryer set but getting the most recruits for the month.

  3. CherylT says:

    I had no idea that gays had an agenda

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