Best news ever kids! According to Wikipedia — that unadulterated bastion of verifiable truth — there is actually a village in Austria called “Fucking.” Honestly, this news makes me so happy that I may have just pooed a little. I mean, think of the possibilities! (with Fucking, that is — not poo. Though poo has many possibilities as well, not the least of which is its ability to Winnie.)
If I were still in high school, for example, every short story I wrote would take place in Fucking, Austria; every presentation I gave on current events would be about Fucking, Austria; and every personal family tree would have roots touching Fucking, Austria. And what the Fucking, Austria could anyone do about it? It’d be like getting in trouble for mentioning “Granada, Spain,” or “Dildo, New Foundland.”
Of course, the best part about Fucking (insert your own — joke! I was going to say joke! — here) is how annoyed its own residents become under the permanent deluge of juvenile Americans and Europeans who prefer to treat its unfortunate nomenclature as a permanent punchline, because even their brusque dismissals can’t help but be hilarious. For example,
In 2004, due mainly to the stolen signs, a vote was held on changing the village’s name, but the residents voted against doing so. Tarsdorf municipality’s mayor Siegfried Hauppl stated that it was decided to keep the name as it had existed for 800 years, and further stated that “(e)veryone here knows what it means in English, but for us Fucking is Fucking — and it’s going to stay Fucking.” [Emphasis my own. Obviously.]
I’m gonna be smiling about this one for days. Because I’m 13.