The Old and the Ewwtiful

Boing!Hugh Hefner ain’t got nothing on Ahmed Muhamed Dhore. According to the ever-vigilant Guardian, a Somali man claiming to be 112 years old recently married a 17-year-old girl from his home village of Guriceel. What’s more, he wants to have more children with her.

Just to put this in perspective, Wrinkles McMarriesalot here was probably already in Depends® before his new wife’s parents were even born! I’m genuinely worried that if this guy accidentally ODs on the local equivalent of Viagra during their honeymoon, his overcooked breakfast sausage might literally explode off his groin like a second stage rocket detaching from its primary thrusters and blind his child-bride before she has a chance to defend herself.

At least Ahmed was a gentleman about the whole thing. You see, rather than acting like a dirty old pedophile and trying to marry the girl when she was an even younger girl, he gallantly “waited for her to grow up to propose.”

Ahh, cultural relativity. Isn’t non-judgment a beautiful thing!


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