I fudge allegiance…

By the second grade, almost every child in the American public school system has learned the Pledge of Allegiance by heart.  Although its daily repetition usually falls out of practice by high school, I’d be willing to bet that most Americans—if asked—could still recite it word for word.  However, I would also conjecture that, despite growing up under its monotonous drone, few people have ever taken the time to really think about what it is they’re saying.  So let’s take a slightly more in-depth look at our Pledge of Allegiance, shall we?

I pledge allegiance to the flag

(Let the brainwashing begin…)

of the United States of America,

(States?  Yes.  America?  Yes.  Of?  Most definitely.  But United? That’s debatable.  There are still schools in the south using text books that teach how, after the Confederate States of America had legitimately seceded from the Union, the big bad North came down and invaded their sovereign nation, re-appropriating the south in an illegal act of war.  And of course, as each state has its own internal government and constitution, each is allowed to rule individually on such matters as the death penalty, gay marriage, and taxes regardless of the laws of the rest of the country.)

And to the republic for which it stands,

(Fair enough.)

one Nation

(For now.)

under God,

(Do I even need to comment on this one?)


(See: Civil War)

with liberty

(See: Guantánamo)

and justice

(See: OJ)

for all.

(Unless you happen to belong to whichever minority group it is currently en vogue to shit all over.  In the past, this has included redskins and injuns, niggers, micks, wops, polacks, and wenches of all races.  Currently, it would seem that fags, wetbacks, and other spics are the primary focus of our look-you-in-the-eye-while-kicking-you-in-the-groin double standard, at least as of this publication.  So chinks, gooks, nips, and slant-eyes of the world beware: just because you’re good at math, doesn’t mean we won’t come for you next.)

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