When Lovin’ Spoonful wrote their immortal hit “Daydream,” they must have had Fridays in mind. After all, who among us can avoid getting lost in our own labyrinth of moist, happy thoughts for at least a few spacey minutes every time this end to the working week rolls around?
Well, I’ll tell you who can avoid it: ME.
You see, for very sound mathematical reasons which I will soon reveal, I never dwell on improbable fantasies or waste time daydreaming about all my wishes coming true. In fact, the second any thought of this nature pops unbidden into my mind, I banish it for all eternity, never to be meditated upon again.
Here’s why: [Warning: Things is about to get TEKNUKUL up in dis piece!] Stated simply, the odds of something happening at the exact moment you’re thinking about it are so vanishingly small as to render the event an empirical impossibility, mathematically speaking. However, the likelihood of something happening at the exact moment you’re NOT thinking of it is so great as to approximate a sure thing. Ipso fatso, by not thinking about your fantasies, they’re almost guaranteed to come true! My advice? Quit your job, buy some Cheese Curls, and sit around watching M*A*S*H reruns until all of your wildest dreams are passively realized.
Hey, the numbers don’t lie (enlike some other entities I could mention…Yeah, that’s right letters, I’m lookin’ at you!).