Inspired by the Hussy Housewife’s “Slang Word of the Week” over on HumorBloggers.com
Mack the Knife
Mack the Knife macked on his wife
Back when she was his girl.
And though his macking wasn’t lacking,
It didn’t rock her world.
But soon enough Mack’s mackest stuff
Got pheromones a’blinkin’,
And she and Mack shagged in the back
Seat of her mother’s Lincoln.
A few more whacks of mack from Mack
Spread out in several stages
And soon the girl was in a swirl—
A romance for the ages.
With both bewitched they done got hitched
And promised to be true.
But, alack, Mack’s will to mack
Could not be bid adieu.
And so one day, with wife away,
Mack macked with housewives other
Than his own spouse in his own house—
One after another.
And when ol’ Mack’s poor wife got back,
‘Twas coitus interruptus.
And while Mack rambled, hussies scrambled
To flee before the ruckus.
Despite his tears, ’twas two deaf ears
That heard his explanations
As the brain beneath them trained
On other calculations.
With sudden haste, fair wifey raced
Downstairs with heart betrayed
To search the kitchen, fingers itchin’,
For any deadly blade.
Before her senses could mount defenses
She found her hoped-for shiv,
And ran back toward her once-adored
To prove she could forgive.
So there they stood, Mack still with wood,
Balls blue beneath his cue,
Until that wife of Mack the Knife
Made his whole name come true.