One of the many delightful “backstage” features WordPress offers its faithful weggers (besides a heartbreaking account of how few individuals actually visit one’s website…siiiighhhh…) is a list of search terms used by the various browsers of Ye Olde Worlde Wide Webe that have resulted in visits to your site. The fact that some of these terms have taken unsuspecting internetters to Write in the Kisser‘s merry pages is no surprise. After all, when looking for “short catchy sayings” or “sick humor,” you could do a lot worse than Ol’ Bess1 here. However, some of the terms that have brought folks to the site are a little unexpected (to say a moderate amount), and a few are downright disturbing. Here, in no particular order, are some of the more colorful phrases that have ultimately led to Write in the Kisser‘s carbuncled chambers, as well as my mature, insightful editorial comments regarding each one.
- myvulva – I’m sincerely curious: What kind of website was this particular browser hoping to stumble upon? Perhaps the oddly un-spaced keyword was composed by a confused young lady looking to become better acquainted with her “secret special place.”
- cafeteria kisser – Maybe I’m just a softy, but I choose to believe that this unlikely dictional pairing is the last-ditch E-effort of some lonely, hair-netted soup ladler to locate her tater tot-tossing soulmate.
- fred+shaggy naked – I promise you, neither Fred nor Shaggy has ever appeared “in the altogether” anywhere on my site. (Well, not yet anyway. But believe me, I’m working on it.)
- shagy having sex – No comment.
- shaggy and freddy sex – SERIOUSLY no comment.
- waddle sayings – What the hell could that possibly mean?
- sensual massage with release + hollyw – Two words for the person who wrote this one: Call me!
- catchy sayings about members – Heh heh, sayings.
- girth of my wallet – Now honestly, who hasn’t Googled that one before?
- explosive diarrhea – Hope this guy found what he was looking for.
- vagina kisser – Hey, that lawsuit was dismissed! (Lawsuits are dismissed when you flee a state before the trial begins, right?)
1. My personal pet name for Write in the Kisser, along with “Big Maude,” “Panky Hank,” and “Salmonella Sal.”