Catchy sayings gone horribly, horribly wrong


1. “See you later alligator!”
[SNAP!]
“AHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! MY LEG!! YOU BIT OFF MY LEG!!!!! THE PAIN IS INCREDIBLE!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

1a. “After awhile crocodile!”
[SNAP!]
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! OH JESUS, MARY, AND JUJUBES, YOU BIT OFF MY OTHER LEG!!! WHAT A TERRIBLY TRAGIC AND IRONIC FATE TO BEFALL ME AFTER SURVIVING THAT EARLIER ENCOUNTER WITH THE ALLIGATOR! MY LORD, THIS IS EXCRUCIATING, BOTH IN A PHYSICAL SENSE AND A MUCH MORE POETIC SENSE!!! …NO! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! HAVEN’T YOU HAD YOUR FILL?!? SOMEBODY HEL—”
[SNAP! SNAP! CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. GULP! Waddle waddle waddle waddle splash. ]
“…”

2. “Cross my heart and hope to die!”
[Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum—squelch.]
“Oooh, never felt that before. Hun, do we have any Tums left?”
[Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum ba-dum ba-DUMbaDUMbaDUMba—POP! Crumple, thud.]
“…”

3. “Catch you later!”
[Thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap]
“Wait, Bill, what are you doing?! Why are you running toward that window???”
[Thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap thwapthwapthwap, CRASH!]
“NO! Jesus, I didn’t mean it literally!!!”
NOW YOU Tell meeeeeeeeeee……
[SPLAT]

3a. “Smell you later!”
[Rumble, gurgle, gargle. Pfffff, squeeeeet, SQUIRRRRRRT, ploop plop! Dribble dribble, plunk. Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish…]
[Sniff sniff, sniff sniff] “UhhuGhguh! What the hell did you have for lunch?!?”

4. “How do you like dem apples!”
[Creeeeeeeeeeaak. Criiiiiiiiiick. CRACK! Whooooooosh. CRASH! ]
“…”
“My word Margaret, did that apple tree just fall on that impudent young man with the Boston accent?”

5. “Up your nose with a rubber hose!”
[BANG!]
“Oh my God, somebody shot grandpa!”

6. “You gotta look out for number one.”
[Caw! Caw! Caw!]
“What the hell?”
[caw, Caw, CAW! SPLOOT. CAW, Caw, caw…]
“Aww, son of a bitch! Friggin’ bird!”
“…Looks like somebody should have been looking out for number tw—”
“Shut up and hand me a Kleenex.”

7. “Man, if I had a nickel for every time—”
[bling]
“Hey look, a nickel!”
[Thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap thwap.]
“This must be my lucky—”
[BEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP! SCREEEECH! BAM! Whoooosh SPLOT!]
“…Wow, that guy musta really wanted that nickel. Shame about that Mack truck though.”

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