It’s simple folks. Fed up with the lack of readily available public venues for my particular brand of, uhh… well, let’s just call it “humor,” I have elected to adopt the most execrable trend of the new millennium and begin my very own “web log” (or, “weg,” as it’s referred to in the online community).
In keeping with most momentous occasions, my weg will begin inauspiciously enough (in this case, with helpful definitions of each of its main writing categories). But rest assured, in no time at all, interest in my weg will have doubled – from zero to zero – and then doubled again, expanding exponentially until one day, possibly during my lifetime, it will be impossible to have a conversation without not mentioning my weg. Well folks, I have news for you: That day is here.
That’s right, take a moment to soak it all in. Then towel off, dust on some talcum powder, and read on to find out what, exactly, this weg will entail.
Beef Brief: Who I’m pissed off with today. Or who’s pissed off with me! (Isn’t versatility fun kids?!)
Bloody Well Done!: Sarcastic accolades bestowed on deserving idiots. (Also, how I prefer my steak prepared in third-world countries.)
BOING!: Quick quips or extended observations about things that have recently caught my eye though may not be recent in and of themselves.
Currant Events: Updates on all the latest happenings in the area of small seedless raisins produced chiefly in California and in the Levant and used in cookery and confectionery.
Long Form Flobbityjoop (LoFoFlo): Essays, diatribes, editorials, and other “feature length” pieces written with a unifying theme and a haunting disdain for brevity. (Editor’s note: In all likelihood, these will mostly consist of works written for – and rejected by – more mainstream forums like McSweeney’s, YankeePotRoast, and ThisLastOneIsMadeUpSoDon’tBotherClickingOnIt.)
Office Spice: Work is silly. Sometimes it is so silly, I can’t help but write about it. Yay for silly things!
Short Form Flobbityjoop (ShoFoFlo): Same as LoFoFlo. But shorter. And far less likely to be the literary equivalent of “sloppy seconds.”
Site News: News. About my site. THIS site, in fact.
Tumorous: Password-protected pieces from any of the above categories containing passages that would probably make me uncomfortable if I knew they were being read by my grandmother or girlfriend’s parents. (FYI, the password for these entries is “bad words”; however, if you are a grandmother, parent of girlfriend, or other individual with similar tastes and expectations, I recommend not entering said password if you don’t want our next encounter to be awkward and devoid of eye contact. This means you Maimi.)